anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
