I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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