I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
