I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
