What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
