she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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