Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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