i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
