I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You need a sexual gate keeper
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I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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