just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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