she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
