with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
