the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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