This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
