I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
