I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize