New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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