Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
