some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
