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• (714): View more from California

  dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

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• (845): View more from New York

  when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Liz is crying about burritos again.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.

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• (212): View more from New York

  It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.

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• (585): View more from New York

  dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.

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