I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize