Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
