dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
