What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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