oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize