Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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