Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
