Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
