and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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