Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
