id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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