So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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