We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
