Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
