you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
