I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
