So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
