Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
