I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
