I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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