The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
