I love black thongs
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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