The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
