He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
