Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So vagazzling was a success
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
