Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
