This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
