So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
