i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
