He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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