Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
they call him Oral-B. enough said
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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