doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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