Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
