How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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