y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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