Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
