PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
