worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i out mim tonsoeep
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